Category: Struggling Christian

Force of God?

Being a strong minded and completely committed born again Christian, I am sometimes finding it harder and harder to believe that God is responsible for some of the tragedies I have been seeing, especially in our country. I was raised a Christian and have never doubted any of God’s work. I have seen him work in ways that I can’t explain or express online, but can only say that I feel him with me every day. I know he is and it is something that only those who have accepted Jesus into their life can understand.

As I am getting older and more aware however, I am beginning to see myself struggling with a lot of the atrocities and misfortunes of others that I see around me. I have consulted with my preacher about a lot of my concerns and I hate to say it, but his reassurances and explanations have not really done me any good. To sum up pretty much everything that he has told me, God works in “mysterious ways” and it is all a part of God’s plan.

Struggling With This “Mystery”

At first, I accepted this response and that is really how I was justifying a lot of what I was seeing. Lately though, there has just been too many horrible things happening every day and all around me to accept this anymore.

 What Am I Seeing?

Let me try to explain where I am coming from with a little bit of background. I am a 39 year old school psychologist for the Chicago Public School District and I am in charge of  testing and analyzing over 1500 students in a single year. No, I am not making this up.

Anyone out there who doesn’t know about CPS and the state it is in let me be the one to tell you that it is in bad shape. And when I say bad shape, I mean really bad. Sure, the actual city of Chicago is great and is a great place to live. But the south and west sides of Chicago are absolute war zones. You may or may not have heard the term “Chi-raq” being tossed around and some of you might think it’s a little extreme but it’s not. The state of some of these neighborhoods and school districts are absolutely and utterly deplorable.

Kids younger than 10 years old know and tell me about the different ways they have to get to school and which neighborhoods they have to avoid because of rival gang members. These kids are born into these lives with no choice and are simply thrown into this world of gangs, violence, and drugs. This is all they know and the schools funding is next to non-existent.

The teachers don’t care, the parents don’t care, and the general public certainly doesn’t care. As long as all these kids and gang members stay within their neighborhoods, people seem to look away and just let them all kill each other off. As long as they stay away from my white picket fenced neighborhood.

Where Does This All Come Together?

I can, and will, go into detail about some of the things I see every single day but I just wanted to give you a little introduction about where I am coming from and the direction I want this little outlet of mine to go in.

I am sorry, but I don’t see how these children suffering and struggling to stay alive every single day can possibly be part of God’s plan.

There has to be something more…